A Pink Slip For God's Science Teacher

A PINK-SLIP FOR GOD’S SCIENCE TEACHER

The religious fundamentalist are pathological prevaricators. Their flagrant unremorseful breaking of the eighth commandment to foment Christian dogma as science is awash in hypocrisy. Their new ruse is the beguiling Academic Freedom Petition with the insidious subversive intent to “teach the controversy”, which is Intelligent Design. Now, personally, I have mix emotions on how to retort to yet another autistic creationist banging his/her head of faith against the science classroom door. Should they be commended for their perseverance; berated for their hypocritical decisive duplicity [metastatic lying] for the soul [misspelling deliberate] purpose to proselytize Christianity with no compunction for breaking the 8th commandment]; or, held intellectually accountable. Well, since the topic is science, intellectual accountability begs to be chosen. We will employ the flanking strategy of reason, the handmaiden of science; generally, not a good tactic to use against people of faith, but, what the hell.
Since the creationists are autistically adamant about teaching the Word of God as science. What does God actually know about science? With due consideration that God was unavailable to sit for an interview, I decided to entertain the next best option, His Word: The Bible. Let us take a gander at the scriptures for some insightful science. Genesis is great place to start (pun intended).
The first five books of the Old Testament (Torah) The Law, where the creation myth and Ten Commandments reside are a bonanza of biology and cosmology cataclysmic errors. One has to wonder if Moses, the allege author, was tripping on peyote; maybe, delirious from heat stroke from too much desert sun; or, God’s communication skills are appreciable wanting: because, no matter how you try to spin the scriptural prose, like a stroke patient with pathological limb deficits, the sacred writings were transcribed with glaring scientific deficits, and more often, then not, quadriplegic-like, and completely absent of any scientific appreciation of natural laws. An omniscient God should be acutely aware that words are important--- and taken deliberate due diligence to have had selective verbiage, which would have precluded misrepresentation and misinterpretation: The Great Communicator, he/she was/is not!
The sequential order of the universe, cosmological physics, natural history, photosynthesis, pollination, etc…is remised in the below scriptures, which poignantly illuminates my charge that God was literally science ignorant:
The Sequential Order of the Universe: Gen 1:16-17 And God made two great lights; the greater light to rule the day, and the lesser light to rule the night: he made the stars also. The stars and the sun were in existence before the planet earth
Cosmological Physics: Ps 96:10 …the earth also shall be established that it shall not be moved. The earth rotates on it axis … Joshua 10:12-13 and, the sun stood still, and the moon stayed, until the people had avenged themselves upon their enemies. The earth rotates around the sun, not vice versa.
Natural History: Portray fictional creatures as authentic animals. To name a few: SATYR, UNICORN, and COCATRICE (dragon)
· Satyr: Lev 17:7; Isaiah 13:21, 34:11, 34:14
· Unicorn: Numb23:22, 24:8; Deut 33:17; Job39:9
· Cockatrices: Isaiah 11:18, 14:29, 59:5; Jeremiah 8:17
Hares chew the cud, Lev 11:6; bat is a bird, Deut 14:11, 18; “four footed” birds and flying insects, Lev 11:20-23.
Photosynthesis: Gen 1:11-19, God created plants on day three of the creation myth and the sun on the fourth day. Those little chloroplasts of plants would take issue with this sequence.
Pollination: Gen 1: 12, 21 God created fruit tree before animals---who were their pollinators; bats, humming birds, bees, moths, and butterflies, where art thou---oh, that’s right, they didn’t show up on the creation scene until the next day.
I could continue with this laundry list of desecrations of biological precepts with such nonsense as virgin birth, talking donkey and snakes, magical trees, etc; however, I hope my expostulation have made it abundantly clear that employing the bible as a heuristic tool, a reference text is irrefutably fatuitous, and God’s science teacher should be handed a pink slip.
My next blog will offer real time evolution for those hard-liner creations: the invisible hand of natural selection on the virulence of the swine flu.